November/December, 2008_____________________________________________McCormick Press

VOL. V, Issue 9                                                                                   www.lostmypartner.com

                                                                                    newsletter@lostmypartner.com

 

 

The Lost My Partner Newsletter  

 

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner –What’ll I Do?  A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

 

 

 

This Month’s Feature: Ten Best Ways to Get Through the Holidays

 

 

UPDATES FROM RUTH & LAURIE

 

Welcome to our November/December newsletter! With the holidays coming up, some of you may definitely not be feeling festive,

especially if your loss has happened recently. We’ve reprinted our popular article so you can get a head start on planning how to survive this difficult season. In our experience, it’s better to be prepared for these types of occasions than be vulnerable to “sneak attack” reactions that can hit when you least expect them.

 

Good news: we’re still offering FREE SHIPPING (for a limited time) on both the new and the original editions of Lost My Partner-What’ll I Do? Find out more at: www.lostmypartner.com.

 

Please stay in touch and share any ideas or suggestions with us. We can be reached at: contact@lostmypartner.com

 

Thanks for joining us.

Warmest Wishes,

Ruth and Laurie

 

 

 

 

MONTHLY FEATURE

 

 

TEN BEST WAYS TO GET THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS    

 

Dreading the upcoming holidays? If you’ve recently lost your spouse, the coming festivities can feel as unwelcome as Marley’s Ghost. Here are some tried and true strategies for facing the holiday season:

 

1)    Think ahead and try to anticipate how you’ll feel on each holiday.

 

2)    Even if you don’t join in the festivities, don’t remain alone all day. Spend some time with a friend.

 

3)    Considering your loss, don’t expect yourself to be as upbeat as usual. Expect some sadness as you take part in the festivities.

 

4)    To lessen the chance of emotional “sneak attacks”, make some time to grieve, either on the holiday or just before it.

 

5)    If you do choose to join in holiday activities, make some changes as to how much you do or become involved in.

 

6)    Contact the host or hostess before the get-together and let them know that you aren’t feeling like your usual self and may need to leave early.

 

7)    Give yourself the first 30 minutes after you arrive to adjust to a gathering where your spouse is no longer with you.

 

8)    Take your own car or alert a friend who is driving that you may want to leave early.

 

9)    If you start to feel overwhelmed, you can retreat to the bathroom or take a short walk for some private time.

 

10)If you choose to avoid the usual gatherings, consider

volunteering to serve meals at shelters, visiting shut-ins, or

spending the day at a movie or health spa.

 

Remember: You will get through this time. We’ve found that the anticipation is usually much worse than the actual events. Be sure to plan ahead and do only what is most comfortable for you.

 

 

YOUR QUESTIONS

 

“My husband passed just over a year ago. Before his death, we were active in several local organizations. Since then, my family and friends have been trying to get me to join various activities. Although I tried a few classes at my church, I can’t seem to get enthusiastic about these things. Is there something wrong with me that I don’t feel up to participating in anything anymore?”      Sherry B.

 

 

Everyone’s timing is different. While it’s important to listen to what feels right for you, however, you might occasionally try out an activity, just to test the waters. If you find yourself remaining isolated though, consider talking to a bereavement professional or clergy person.

 

 

 

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

 

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

 

Get free shipping when you either edition of Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do? from our website: www.lostmypartner.com.

 

Telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814.

 

 

(Copyright 2008 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)