Date: April 9th, 2006 10:11:30 a.m.

THE LOST MY PARTNER NEWSLETTER

Vol. II, Issue 5 May, 2005

Brought to you monthly by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster, authors of Lost My Partner ­ What’ll I Do?; A Clear, Practical Guide For Coping and Finding Strength When Your Spouse Dies

Hello and welcome to our newsletter! We know how losing a spouse can turn your whole world upside down. It can also make concentrating on anything, even an online newsletter really difficult. Just as we’ve done with our bereavement book, Lost My Partner ­ What’ll I Do?, we specially designed this newsletter to make getting valuable professional advice “user-friendly”. Each month we offer comfort, reassurance and practical strategies as well as useful tips from our readers.

We want to make this newsletter on ongoing source of support you can turn to any time, so please let us know how we can make it more relevant for you. We welcome any suggestions or ideas that you’d like to share with us.

Let us hear from you at: contact@lostmypartner.com

Thanks for joining us.

Warmest Wishes,

Ruth and Laurie

MONTHLY FEATURE

FIVE TIPS FOR SURVIVING CELEBRATIONS WITHOUT YOUR SPOUSE

Whether it’s Mothers’ Day, a family wedding or a dinner dance, attending celebratory events can be difficult without your spouse by your side. Be aware that reminders of your loss will probably creep up on you unexpectedly. The following strategies can help get you through the occasion:

1. Prepare yourself by allowing a few tears before the event starts. This is an effective way to both acknowledge the loss and to deal with your reaction in a more private setting.

2. You may feel resentful of others who are still part of a “couple”. This is a common reaction. A thoughtful host or hostess will seat you with others who are also attending solo.

3. Watching couples dance can be a painful reminder. Considerate friends or family may try to step in here, so attempt at least one dance. Rather than sit alone at a table while others dance, consider walking over to anyone you know and starting a conversation.

4. Be sure you have a way of leaving early if you don’t feel up to staying for the entire event. If you haven’t taken your own car, arrange ahead of time for a ride home, even if it means calling a taxi.

5. Distract yourself from focusing on your loss by talking with someone you’ve never met before who’s also attending the event. You may come away having made a new friend.

It is always hard the first few times you attend these occasions. Remember that with time, the discomfort softens.

YOUR QUESTIONS

“My dearest friend is terminally ill. I want to be there for her two adult daughters but I find myself reliving my husband’s recent passing. I feel like I need to do this for my friend, who was so supportive when my husband passed, but I’m just not sure I’m up to it. What should I do?” Maureen L.

It’s good that you’re already aware this situation will stir up feelings. You can support your friend and her daughters but you also have a responsibility to yourself. Give yourself permission to take a “time out” from this very stressful situation. Ask if there’s less emotionally charged ways you can be of help, such as running errands, assisting with paperwork or preparing meals.

GETTING THROUGH THE DAYS; Our Readers’ Tips

“I was invited to an out-of-town reunion that required me to stay overnight at a hotel. This would be my first time staying at a hotel without my husband. Although I was nervous and uncomfortable, I told myself that the only reason I thought I couldn’t do this was because I was telling myself I couldn’t. Afterwards I feel really good about what I’d decided. Rather than head out on the road late at night, I was able to share laughs and memories with old classmates in the hotel lounge." Sylvia B.

Discovered a coping strategy that works for you? Share it with others in future newsletters. Email us at: contact@lostmypartner.com

If you enjoy this newsletter, please tell your friends and/or colleagues about it.

If you’re interested in obtaining a copy/copies of the book, Lost My Partner ­ What’ll I Do?, telephone toll free at 1-877-727-3814 or visit our website: www.lostmypartner.com

(Copyright 2005 by Laurie J. Spector, M.S.W. and Ruth Spector Webster, M.S.W. All rights and all media reserved.)